We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize