I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
