i jhust puked up my retainher.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
