put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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