I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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