he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
