Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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