I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize