Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
