I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
