used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
