toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
