OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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