i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
