So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
