the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
