Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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