Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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