I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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