Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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