with your own penis?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
