im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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