she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and she was petting her beer can
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
