i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
