THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
