If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
