At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
