I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Who died my cat blue again?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
