make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
