Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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