mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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