the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
