whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
