i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
