We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
