this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
