Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I sprained my soul last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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