she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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