Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
