i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize