I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
