it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
