dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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