beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
