Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
