nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
