Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
false alarm. still invincible.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize