Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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