dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
