did you get engaged???
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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