That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize