yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
