You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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