Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
