I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
