put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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