you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
