I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
