I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize