consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
