We're facebook friends in real life
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
