One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
