I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
