I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
