Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize