actually, I'm a sock model
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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