His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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