Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
