They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
