Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
