he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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