Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize