saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
