respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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