its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
