He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
