Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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