for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
