That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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