were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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