How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
